our devotion's deepest ocean
by dottsie
Summary: The void was nothing. It wasn't good, and it wasn't bad. It just was. And what it was, was empty. Except for Kairi. / Or, conversations Kairi has with the other Guardians of Light in the void where hearts go. Sorikai (but Sora isn't present) KH3 spoilers.
1. alone at the edge of a universe (kairi)

AN: I'm definitely going to be publishing the chapters for this out of order. Riku's actually the last in the lineup chronologically; I just got his done first, and I was really proud of how it turned out, so I wanted to go ahead and publish it, along with the intro.

As I update this fic, be sure and check the chapter index for whatever the new chapter is. It might not be the last one listed.

* * *

The void was nothing.

It didn't have light, it didn't have darkness. There was nothing to look at, and it almost hurt your eyes to stare in one spot for too long, because the black abyss _was_ the absence of everything.

It wasn't good, and it wasn't bad. It just was. And what it was, was empty.

Except for Kairi.

She woke up here, barely conscious, after the Demon Tide swept her up. She assumed she died in that cloud, and she was right. But her strength and light had led her heart here, to this in-between non-place.

Not too long after opening her eyes and realizing what her situation was, she felt Riku and then Sora die, as well. Her heart's connection to them, though tenuous after her own death, was still present, and she _knew_.

She made the hasty decision to channel her powers into willing Sora to stay together, just together enough to give him a second chance. Right then, it was all she could do for him, for _anyone_, and it exhausted her immediately.

She hated not being able to do the same for Riku and the others. She felt tears prick at her eyes, and sucked in a shaky breath.

If anyone could save them all, it was Sora. It had to be him.

This was one of the tough decisions that came with being a Princess, she supposed. All she could do was wait.

Over the next bit of time, she felt Sora's heart become stronger and stronger, and her tears quickly became ones of relief. Not too long after that, Riku's heart was restored, and she felt like cheering.

It had to be Sora. Of _course._

One by one, quicker and quicker, she could tell the others' hearts were also coming back; at least, she could tell they were appearing here in the void with her. She hadn't spent enough time with people like Ventus and Aqua to recognize their hearts immediately, but they were familiar enough.

Seven other hearts had popped up now, and she could tell that the closest was Axel's; his had shown up just minutes before. Almost everyone was here now.

Kairi wondered, could Sora get everyone's hearts back to their bodies? Would they return on their own?

Then, an eighth heart: his. He was here with them, now.

Alright, then. It was up to Kairi, she guessed.

_You've done plenty, Sora. Let me handle the rest._


	2. a reverie endeavor (axel)

Since Axel's heart was the closest to her, Kairi figured she should try to find him first.

Fairly quickly, she discovered that she could propel herself forward in this space by simply thinking about it. After a minute or two of experimenting with movement, she found herself able to easily drift in her training partner's direction in no time.

His heart looked like a single pinprick of light in the void; in fact, everyone's did. The further away they were, the smaller their light, but Kairi could still see all eight of them scattered around.

And even if she hadn't been able to see them, she could feel her way. Each one of them was a distinct feeling, a distinct presence. Being a Princess of Heart came with some perks.

It only took her another minute or two to reach Axel at this pace. She had seen that he was the nearest from her starting point, but she had underestimated _how_ near.

As she got closer to him, she saw his form begin to materialize - his chest first, and then the rest of him shimmered into existence in an outwards circle from there, his explosion of a hairdo slowly spiderwebbing into its normal shape.

Axel seemed distracted. He didn't even look like he had noticed that he had faded in yet; maybe it was only Kairi who had seen.

He was looking around, his head and eyes darting from place to place, trying to find something to look at.

It didn't take him long to spot Kairi after that. She supposed she had faded into his line of sight, like he had for her.

His face lit up in a grin, and he held his arms out. "Kairi!"

She grinned back and floated up to him. "Hi, Axel!"

Axel pulled Kairi into a bear hug, and she beamed when he ruffled her hair.

He pulled back, holding her at arm's length. "Have you got any idea where the hell we are?"

"That's a great question." Kairi tilted her head. "The afterlife, I think. Or _an_ afterlife, at least."

"The afterlife?" Axel scratched the back of his head. "Wow. We lost, huh? Tough break." His voice had a joke-y tone, but she could tell that her statement had sent a jolt of anxiety down his spine.

She shook her head. "No, it's alright. It's not over yet."

"Oh, yeah?"

"I think I can get us out of here. I felt the others come here, too, but it's because Sora saved you. All your hearts ended up here once he got them back."

He made an impressed noise and put his hands on his hips, taking another look around. "I sure HOPE you can get us out of here. This place reminds me way too much of a dark corridor."

"Tell me about it."

"Well?" He raised an eyebrow at her. "Lead the way, princess."

"Umm..." She put a finger to her chin, examining their surroundings in the same way he had.

"Don't tell me you don't know the way out."

"Give me a second!" She huffed. She would have stomped her foot in mock frustration if there had been a floor to stomp on. "You're the first one I've saved, you know. Ungrateful."

He chuckled as she pondered for a second more.

Then, Kairi got a feeling. She got a compulsion to lead Axel in a certain direction, and she knew it was the way out.

There was no way to be one hundred percent certain it was the way out, but she felt it in the pit of her stomach. And following her gut had worked so far.

She grabbed her friend's arm and pointed in the direction she had a premonition about. "That way."

"You sure?"

"Who's the Princess here?"

"Whatever you say."

He seemed to follow her easily as she began to float along, so she made no effort to instruct him on how to move.

It was surreal; she could tell she was moving forward, but it was impossible to tell by sight alone. Everything (other than herself, her companion, and the hearts in the distance) was pitch black with no dimensions.

They reached the exit before they had time to make much conversation - well, it wasn't an exit, per se, but it was the closest point to the living world that Kairi knew she could exist in without returning there.

And she couldn't do that, not yet. She still had lots of work to do.

Axel looked at her when they stopped, a question on his lips. Kairi held her hands up. "This is it. You've gotta fly on, I think."

"What do you mean by 'this is it'?" He frowned. "It sounds too final. I don't like it."

"It's fine, silly. This is just the place where you leave. If I go any farther, I'll end up going back to my body before I've had a chance to help everyone else. And I'm the only one who can."

His mouth was still downturned, but he sighed. "You sure?"

She nodded. "Positive," she lied.

"Okay." He pulled her into another hug. "Be safe, kiddo. Don't get lost in here."

"I'll be just fine. I've got a compass." As they separated, she pointed to her heart.

Axel shook his head. "Reckless. No sense at all."

"See you later, Axel!" She wiggled her fingers goodbye.

As he drifted away, he called out behind him. "Hey, Kairi?"

"What's up?"

"I..."

He stopped in his tracks, and the volume of his voice lowered a bit, but his words still carried. "I've done some thinking, and I think... I think it might be Lea again."

"Oh!" She shrugged. "Okay! See you later, then, Lea!"

His eyes crinkled when he smiled at his old name.


	3. and only she can make it right (mickey)

King Mickey wasn't too far off from where Axel had been. Kairi hadn't known the monarch very long, but his heart's glow was unmistakable; it shone with the confidence of royalty.

After a minute's travel, she found him in a pose that suggested he was sitting on an invisible chair, his hands folded neatly over his lap. As if he were waiting for something.

"Your Highness?"

Mickey looked up and smiled. "Kairi! Right on time."

"On time?" She tilted her head. "You knew I was coming?"

"Well, of course I did!"

He didn't elaborate.

Kairi nodded, slightly confused. "The way out's, um, this way."

Mickey 'stood' upright, and smiled up at her. He had elected to float level to his normal height, instead of higher to meet her face. "Lead the way, then!"

And so the two flew on.

They made light conversation for a minute or two; she asked how the castle was, he asked how her training was going, things like that. Topics of conversation that didn't belong between two people who just died and were returning to a world-changing battle.

There was a moment of pause in the conversation. Mickey had begun humming a jolly, upbeat tune that sounded like it could have been an intro for a children's program in the 50's.

Kairi's thoughts began drifting off in that short time; she was scoping out who she would head for next. Ventus was the closest, so she supposed it would be him.

King Mickey broke the pause, startling Kairi slightly. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Huh?" She blinked. "Oh. Just thinking about the others."

"You know, I can't wait to see everyone again!"

"Me neither." She smiled. "I can feel them here, you know. Their hearts are kinda like flashlights in the dark."

The King spun to face her. "That sounds spectacular! Must be a nifty power to have."

That reminded her of something. She looked towards him. "Your Highness..."

He shook his head. "There's no need for formalities between friends! You can just call me Mickey, if ya want."

"Alright. Mickey." She giggled politely, and continued. "What did you mean when you meant you knew I was coming?"

Mickey spread his hands out in an explanatory gesture. "Well, gosh, it only makes sense that you'd be the one that's able to lead all of our hearts back to our bodies. That kinda thing needs a Princess's touch!"

She pursed her lips. "So that's another thing that Princesses of Heart can do? Guide lost hearts back?"

"I wasn't a hundred percent sure, but I had a pretty strong hunch."

"Hmm." Kairi rested her hands at her stomach, twiddling her thumbs. "Is there any sort of... I dunno, guide? To being one of the Princesses."

Mickey's ear twitched idly. "What do you mean?"

She shrugged. "Like a book about what kind of powers I have, or something like that. I haven't exactly had anyone explain exactly what my powers are, and I've had to figure it out on my own."

"No, I don't think so." His hand moved to his chin, his face contemplative. "A little bit before you and the other Princesses were used to open the Door to Darkness, I tried going to Master Yen Sid to learn a bit more about you ladies, but we came up empty."

He shook his head. "All we really had to go on were prophecies."

The two of them were nearing the exit now. Kairi sighed.

Her head drooped, just slightly. "I'll admit, it's kinda lonely figuring stuff out by myself. I haven't been able to talk to any of the other Princesses about it, either, 'cause they all live in different worlds."

"Aw, I'm real sorry, Kairi." His voice had genuine remorse in it. "I'll tell ya what: once we beat Xehanort, I can take you to see Master Yen Sid, and we can help you scope your powers out!"

"You mean it?"

"Sure thing! I bet that it won't be so hard once we put our heads together. We can go visit some of the other Princesses, too!"

Kairi stopped in the spot where she would send Mickey on his way, her eyes wide and her mouth curled into a smile. "That would be great, Your Highness- I mean, Mickey. I'd really appreciate that."

He stopped for a moment, as well, and gave her a smile back. "Aw, it's nothing, Kairi! I wouldn't want you to feel lonely."

She shut her eyes and nodded her head once at the king.

"Well, unfortunately, I think this is where I have to say goodbye for now." She gestured towards the living world that only she could sense. "I've gotta go rescue Sora and the rest."

Mickey nodded and didn't question her, which was nice. "Of course! I'll see you in a little bit, then!"

They waved at each other, and the King flew away.

Kairi couldn't help feeling like she hadn't had enough time to talk with the monarch, that she should jump right into researching her powers. It was the kind of thing that demanded urgency, especially since it had lingered at the back of her mind for so long.

But the presence of the other Lights gnawed at her heart in a not-at-all-unpleasant way. She needed to help her friends before she could work out technicalities.

On she went.


	4. one light, higher than the sun (aqua)

There were only two left now; Aqua and Riku.

She decided fairly quickly to go to Aqua first. The other girl's stress level had been steadily rising since everyone arrived, and Kairi would have felt awful making her wait a moment longer for her rescue.

It reminded her too much of how she'd felt on Destiny Islands while the others were gone. Frantic, helpless.

Aqua's heart was a bit farther away than the others, and even from this distance, Kairi could feel her tension. The discomfort tasted metallic on her tongue and it made her more wary of her surroundings than she would have been otherwise.

The longer she floated along, the longer she was alone with her thoughts, and the more relieved she was to see a flash of blue hair appear as the glow of the young Master's heart got closer.

Kairi decided to call out to her, let her know she was approaching earlier than she had with the others. "Master Aqua!"

Aqua flinched, and her head whipped towards Kairi's direction.

She smiled, and Kairi could feel the tension on Aqua's shoulders fade away at the sight of a friendly face (or _any_ face), but after this brief moment of relief, the Master seemed to go on the defensive again, albeit involuntarily. "Kairi?"

Kairi tentatively came a bit closer. "Yes, it's me. I'm here to help you?" The sentence came out like a question, and Kairi cringed at herself. "I've been helping the others find the way out."

Aqua nodded wordlessly. Her face sunk.

"Um... are you alright, M...Master Aqua?"

"What?" She blinked, frowned, and then smiled a fake smile. "Oh, yes! It's just..."

Kairi noticed Aqua's uneasiness rise again. She hadn't known the Master for long, but the way her jaw was tight and her eyes darted around made it obvious how she felt.

And then Kairi connected the dots. Of course Master Aqua would feel this way here. Ten years in the Realm of Darkness meant that a shapeless black void wasn't exactly going to be your happy place.

Kairi had to do something.

With a deep breath in, she extended her hand towards Aqua's, giving a reassuring smile. "I can guide you by the hand, if that'll help you stay grounded."

Aqua raised her eyebrows, taken off guard just a bit, but then she returned the smile.

It took Aqua a moment to reply, but she had steadied her breathing significantly by then, and she seemed a lot less wary than when Kairi had approached her. Her words came slowly and deliberately. "That's really kind of you. Thank you."

Kairi clasped Aqua's hand and nodded. She began their route, leading the woman slightly behind her, and then beside her as she caught up.

Kairi offered, "If it helps, this isn't really darkness. It's black all around, and there's no light, but it's not a dark place." The Princess tried to glow just a bit brighter, tried to share a bit of her heart's light with the Master's, so that her words wouldn't ring hollow.

Aqua nodded. Her state was improving steadily. "I can tell. It just... it looks similar, yeah? Brings up some memories I don't want to revisit just yet."

"Yeah, of course."

Kairi decided to change the subject. She had a million questions for Aqua about the Realm of Darkness: how big it was, what kind of monsters were there, what kind of places. She had an endless fascination for the place, especially since her heart was supposedly immune to the Realm's poison.

But those questions could wait. Aqua needed to be distracted.

So, instead, Kairi asked the first thing that came to her mind: "Is it hard becoming a master?"

"Huh?" Aqua blinked. "Oh. Not any harder than any other life path, I suppose. It just depends on the person. Why do you ask?"

"I think I want to be one. Someday." She sighed. "Eventually."

Aqua's smile could be heard through her voice, a welcome change from its previous skepticism and guardedness, and she gave a supportive squeeze to Kairi's hand. "That's amazing!"

Kairi shrugged. "I guess, but I'm always gonna be behind the others." She felt more thoughts spilling out, and she was powerless to stop them now that the thought process had started. "Even Axel has combat experience, even though he was a Nobody at the time. Before I started my training, I had next to nothing. Even Sora and Riku would play-spar on our island."

Aqua tilted her head. "And?"

"I didn't."

"So?"

"I think I'm just... I think that it's intimidating. You have to be REALLY good to be a master, right?"

"Yes, but there's nothing wrong with getting a late start." Aqua's voice took on a motherly tone. "I've seen you fight, Kairi. You're a little inexperienced right now, sure, but you're AMAZING with what you've learned, and your style reminds me a lot of Terra's. Pure, concentrated power."

The corners of Kairi's mouth turned up. "You think so?"

"Of course! Maybe once we rescue him and everything has calmed down, I can get him to help hone your technique."

"Thanks, Aqua. That... that means a lot to me."

And it truly did. Hearing such praise from such a skilled Keyblade wielder, on top of being able to bring able to bring that same wielder back from the verge of a shutdown, was making Kairi's chest swell with confidence and newfound certainty.

They were nearing the exit point, and Kairi stopped, halting Aqua as well.

Kairi gave her directions, pointing in the direction she needed to float to get back, and explaining that she couldn't go any further. Aqua nodded and looked towards the direction Kairi pointed. Then, the two smiled at each other in farewell, and pulled each other into a friendly hug.

Aqua patted Kairi's back. "Thank you for leading me out. You have the makings of a master, Kairi. I mean that" She pulled back and held her hands over her own heart. "You have a strong, kind heart, and I can tell that in due time, you're going to flourish."

Kairi nodded, trying not to let her own smile grow too big. Her hands found her heart, as well. "See you soon, Master Aqua. I'm going to find the others. It's just Riku and Sora, now."

"Don't worry, you'll find them."

"Of course."

Aqua drifted in the direction of life, and Kairi watched her go.


	5. we'll go together in flight (riku)

Now that Kairi had guided six hearts home, it was time to retrieve her boys.

The glow from Riku's heart was the dimmest of all, but it was also the easiest for Kairi to follow. She could have found his heart if it had been at the bottom of the darkest, deepest abyss.

She didn't have to go far to reach him. It was like the void bent to her will, shortening the distance between them. It was almost as if it knew how important this was.

When she was finally able to see a hint of his silver hair shimmering in the dark, a weight was lifted from her heart that she hadn't been aware of until that moment. She wondered if he felt the same.

Riku had his eyes shut tight when she approached him, his arms and legs coming into focus; he was floating, tilted slightly backwards, as if he was in a pool.

Kairi hovered at a small distance away, her hands behind her back. For a moment, she watched him, almost nervous to say something.

When she spoke, she called his name like a question. "Riku?"

His eyelids fluttered open in surprise, and he jerked his head up. "Kairi?"

"Yeah. Hope you weren't expecting someone else." She smirked, any nervousness being washed away by seeing him caught off-guard.

He straightened his posture, his eyes almost aglow, and came closer to her. "No, I just- I didn't expect to see anyone here at _all_. I'm not even sure how I got here, myself."

Kairi's heart warmed the closer he got. "Sora helped."

She noticed his eyes momentarily widen at the mention of the boy, and sensed his heartbeat increase more than ii already had.

His voice broke. His voice hadn't broken like that in such a long time. "Sora? He's okay?"

"Don't worry, he's okay," she affirmed with a gentle nod, "but he still needs our help. He's done so much."

The two of them looked into each other's eyes for a moment, and Riku nodded. "Right. Let's go get him."

Kairi shook her head sadly. She expected this response, and it hurt her to refuse. "No... I don't think you can come with me."

"Why not?"

"I'm the only one who can guide hearts back, I think." She looked at her hands, her brow furrowed in worry. "I know you want to help, but if I try leading you deeper into this place, I'm afraid you might get stuck here. Fade completely."

He frowned that stoic frown of his. "Isn't it worth the risk?" The line of his jaw tightened. "For him?"

"Riku, Sora rescued your heart and sent it to me for a _reason_." Kairi gave him the best stern look she could muster. "None of us want to lose anyone else."

Riku opened his mouth to retort, paused, and sighed.

Kairi closed some of the space between them and took both of his hands in hers, running her thumb across his knuckles soothingly. "Sora saved everyone's hearts, and it's my job to lead them back to the living world, now. I don't want to take any more risks. Not after what got us here." She bit her lip. "I hope you understand."

Riku's hand in hers was a soft and comforting feeling, and it hurt to see him his chest rise and fall again in resignation. His head bowed, and he stared at their intertwined fingers. "...Bring him back safely."

"You know I will. Even if I have to drag him by the ear."

The two of them chuckled, and with that, Kairi began leading Riku towards the way out.

They drifted in silence for a little bit, their hands clasped together like they were children again.

It reminded her of when she first washed up on the Islands. The memories of that period of her life were fuzzy at best, but the tour of the Play Island that her boys gave her was still clear as day.

The image of Sora bounding ahead, excitedly spouting whatever idea sprung to his mind, while Riku led Kairi along the shore by the hand.

The unfamiliar sensation of sand between her toes.

Her young face red and puffy from crying about a home she couldn't remember (which is the reason the tour happened to begin with.)

Thinking that her feet hurt from trying to keep up with Sora, and that her hand was sweaty from holding Riku's, but not wanting either of these things to stop, because it was the first time she had felt safe since she had arrived.

Kairi was brought out of her thoughts by Riku giving her hand a squeeze, but the warm pit in her stomach remained.

They were almost there, now. She'd have to let him go soon.

She was happy that Riku was a person who also enjoyed comfortable silence, and wondered what was on his mind. Perhaps the same memory?

She pulled them gently to a halt. "This is my stop. I'm sorry. You'll have to make the rest of the trip back to the living world alone, but it's not far at all."

As she spoke, Riku turned to face her, his hand keeping a firm hold on hers. "Thank you, Kairi. Keep... keep safe, okay? Both of you." His free hand clenched into a light fist at his side.

She nodded and hummed lightly in response, giving him what she hoped was a reassuring smile.

Her hand loosened its grip, intending to let him go so that he could leave, but he still held tight.

Riku met eyes with her again. "Kairi, I..." His fist closed tighter, with a steely look in his eyes to match. "I wanted to tell you that I tried to... to protect him." A shaky breath. "I just... I tried. I'm sorry."

"Riku?" Her voice took on a gentle quality. "Riku, it's okay, Sora's alright, I promise..."

And then it hit her. What he was trying to say.

Her throat was dry. "You protected him. In your last moments, I mean."

Riku bit his lip as Kairi took his remaining free hand in hers. She uncurled his fingers and laced hers with them.

His eyes were becoming misty, like they used to when he was still in the painful stages of healing from Ansem's control. "I failed."

"You didn't fail. It was an act of love." Kairi smiled softly. "You love him."

He didn't respond; didn't protest, didn't agree. He just shut his eyes, clenched his teeth.

She squeezed his hands. "I love him, too." The words felt foreign on her tongue, like they had been caged up and were waiting to be let out.

Riku nodded, his face resigned. Though his eyes were closed, the crinkling around them suggested an expression of grim acceptance. He looked _apologetic_.

Her heart twinged. Riku really, truly felt like he needed to be _apologetic_ for loving Sora at the same time as Kairi. No, no, no.

Kairi softly shook her head. "We can tell him together."

Riku looked at her in the same manner he had when she first found him here. His lips parted in confusion. "What?"

"I said, once this is all over, we can tell him together." Kairi pulled him close, hugging him as tight as possible, his heartbeat resonating loud within her chest while she was holding him. "You're noble. You didn't fail anyone and you never, ever will. I love you, too, Riku."

He hesitated for a moment, and then wrapped his arms around her; politely at first, then closer, more tenderly.

They stayed like that for a few precious seconds.

He spoke into her hair. "I love you, too. We can tell him, together." She felt him smile, and he repeated, "We can tell him together. Yeah."

They held each other for some amount of time that wasn't nearly as long as it should have been. Heartbeats in sync. Dark and light.

Riku smoothed her hair back and reluctantly separated himself from her. "You two come back in one piece. You hear me?"

Kairi pecked his flushed cheek. "I already _told_ you we would. Hey, help me light the way back for us once you've made it, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am."

He cupped her face in his hand and she leaned into his caress, shutting her eyes.

Then, after a reluctant "goodbye", Riku drifted towards the way out, waving in farewell.

Kairi watched him until he disappeared from view and she couldn't feel his heart's presence in this plane anymore.

Once she was sure Riku had returned to his body safely, Kairi turned her form back to the void.

There was only one heart left. She could feel him, far away as he was.

Sora.


End file.
